"The Guessing Game" (Monologue)

The Guessing Game

(Nervously) “Oh that? Haha! That? That’s nothing really, I uhh just… uhh… hit my head on the corner of my bed when I woke up this morning”

(Disappointed) See… that was my first time, so I didn’t really have any experience yet. But I’ve actually gotten pretty good at it… Now I can fool just about anyone (jokingly). It’s all about eye contact, because if there’s no eye contact you’ll cave and you’ll just become this piece of glass that they’ll be able to see right through. See… that’s the thing, people aren’t dumb; they’re actually pretty smart nowadays. It’s almost as if they already know, and they’re just toying with you. Like you’re suddenly in this interrogation room and they’re prying information out of you. Sometimes it even feels like they’re really just gripping me up, and shaking me, and at the top of their lungs screaming right into my face “JUST SPIT IT OUT, ALREADY!!!” …But you can’t let them do that, you can’t fall for that, you can’t let them inside your head, because than… if you do that, they can read you like a book.

(Satisfactorily Reflecting) But, after awhile… you get kind of used to it… It’s kind of like getting into a hot shower. See, no one ever just fully jumps into a shower without first testing the waters. Instead you first get in and you might just stick your toe in to see how it feels and to begin with it might seem scolding hot and you might even jump back, but… as you inch your way in and as you continue to submerge your body more into the water, it’s as if your body just seems to adapt, and you don’t even feel it anymore, but in reality the temperature of the water never actually changed. But then again, maybe it just depends on how sensitive you are because than there are the times when you can just stick your hand in and not even feel a thing but as soon as you stick your foot or ankle in, the water seems to get a hundred times hotter.

(Firmly Formally Informative) Cause see… there are a couple rules one must follow, or more so, boundaries you absolutely can NOT break and lines you simply just never cross, when playing this game. (Casually) I like to call it a game, because it’s become like an art or skill that I’ve mastered.  Like… for instance… NEVER ever… I repeat you must NEVER stutter, stammer, or even trip up on your words because that automatically puts up a red flag in their head, that you’re not telling the whole truth or just making it up on the spot. It instantly reveals a lack of confidence in your speech. It is extremely important that you prepare in advance and plan ahead for each mark, because than you start to forget which lie you told what person, and you can risk the chance of telling the same person 2 different stories or telling 2 different stories for the same mark. And, ALWAYS REMEMBER to keep eye contact and remain staring at them, and keep an eye on any nervous twitches, or anything really that might show you’re uncomfortable or agitated. Mainly, any sign that you might be hiding something.

(Inevitably Angry) And… I know you might be thinking to yourself and asking WHY? Why do I put up with it? I’ll give you the answer right now! I’ll tell you what I can tell you! I can tell you that NO!... It’s not because I’m just so blind in love, and I’m this weak helpless wreck that constantly blames myself for everything and just thinks everything is my fault. You’re WRONG!!! Cause I’ll tell you what! I might be helpless but I’m sure not hopeless! Why you ask? I guess… maybe it’s just a matter of pride… self dignity. This constant obligation and pressure to live up to this perfect picture of this ideal relationship we don’t actually have. I guess… you can say it’s a mixture of not wanting to put my burdens on others, like I can’t handle my own problems and the slightest hope that maybe, just maybe… THIS…. is the last time. The desire to shut-up the people who doubted us in the first place… The attacking words of those who knew the entire time… “I TOLD YOU SO!”

(Surprisingly Sadly Upset) Cause… you see… it’s no longer the physical pain. The physical pain isn’t the problem. See, the physical pain is just a hot shower. You grow accustomed to that… But now… it’s the mental and emotional pain… it’s your inner heart and your inner feelings that are now hurting. It’s like you’ve been completely gutted out and there is absolutely nothing left inside of you… It’s this constant feeling of defeat… Because it’s no longer just a hit… or a smack… or a punch… It’s more than that, it’s the mere lost of your rights or having anything to live for… Every hit is like he rips my heart out into a million pieces, throws it on the floor and stomps on it!... Again… and again… You no longer feel like a human, you feel like you don’t even own yourself, like you belong to someone else… Like a piece of property at his total dispense… Like a used plate and not even one of those nice glass ones anymore… that you can wash and re-use again… But a paper plate that you wrinkle up and throw out… You feel like a used piece of trash!... And see… Nor is it the fact that you’ve just been crumpled up and are now sitting rock-bottom in a trash can… … … But the exact fact that he did all of that without even the slightest or least bit of thought, care, or even sympathy for your feelings. (Starts crying) But… you must ALWAYS REMEMBER… the key is eye contact… You gotta look him dead in the eye without showing the smallest  wince of the throbbing pain, hurt, and anguish stirring inside of you… because then… if you’ve done that… Then you’ve really given up everything… Then you have nothing to stand for… Then is when you’ve lost all hope… Then… is when you have handed him the victory… and… than… That is when you have really lost the game.